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Writer's pictureBehaviour Mentor

It's Normal To Be Different...



So... We don't all behave in the same way.


We are individuals and as such we react to different situations in different ways.


Reactions are based on prior life experiences and the understanding of the social worlds that we inhabit. If behaviour is challenging then it can be an indication of the lack of skills to behave in an appropriate way.



In today's society we often stigmatise difference through medicalising those exhibiting challenging behaviours with diagnoses and labels. While searching for reasons and underlying causes can be a positive approach it can also serve to hinder the effectiveness of the support process.


All parents want their child to be 'normal' and be part of a group. Diagnoses and labelling can be seen as underlining difference and therefore negatively impacting inclusion in the 'normal' group. This can discourage parents from listening to and seeking advice in order to avoid stigma, which is a concern as early intervention is known to facilitate better outcomes.


How can we change the stigma?


We need to recognise that as adults we are not always capable of behaving in the right way. If we are tired, angry, upset or experiencing another emotional state, then our reaction/behaviour can be impacted. Therefore, why would we not be more understanding and empathetic to our students/children when they are exhibiting challenging behaviour?


We need to show that we are open to listening and understanding why our students/children are behaving in a challenging way.


We must be honest in our response and find ways to reinforce the behaviour expectations and how we might reach these together.


It is our role to ensure that the student feels that we believe in them and their ability to change their behaviour.


We must not create self perpetuating situations where the student feels bad so behaves badly. Instead, we must support them in breaking the cycle of behaviour through open discussion, understanding and empathy.


We must identify for the students/children when behaviour is challenging and why this needs to change. There is a real need to facilitate this understanding from the perspective of the student in order to affect change. This will allow a dialogue with the student to potentially reach an agreement of how we can move them forward and learn from the situation. Through the development of the necessary skills we can provide the opportunity to avoid this challenging behaviour in the future.


It's okay to feel bad but it's not okay to continue to exhibit challenging behaviour.

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