Understanding behaviour is a complicated task.
We are all individuals who are 'wired' differently... our life experiences, culture and relationships determine how we behave in any one given situation. Past experience shapes our response and past success promotes informed decision making. But, we need to be aware of our differences and how we can support others to improve outcomes.
I recently read an article written by Jessica Koehler, 'How to Raise an Orchid'. In the article Koehler discusses the behaviour characteristics of Orchid children and identifies them as highly sensitive. I am not qualified to discuss this topic further but I liked the use of the dandelion/orchid metaphor.
If I apply this metaphor to describe students who exhibit challenging behaviour then it would look a bit like this...
Dandelions would be those students who behave regardless. They sit on the carpet, they listen to the teacher and they follow directions without issues.
Orchids would be those students who struggle to control their bodies and their emotions in the classroom. They are negatively impacted by transitions, display feelings of anxiety and/or lack self confidence.
The idea of dandelions representing the children who thrive in school regardless illustrates the contrast in emotional regulation and ability to react appropriately of those represented by the orchids... those who require our support and understanding to navigate their day at school. This visual image gives us an immediate understanding of the difficulties some children may experience in what for others may appear to be a normal situation. Extreme emotional reactions to simple incidents is the tip of the iceberg.
Consider the orchid child who is so engrossed in a building game and is having fun with friends. It is time for the children to pack up and prepare for lunch. The reaction is major as the orchid child realises he/she has to stop what he/she is doing. Floods of tears and violent outbursts ensue. Is this an appropriate response? No... Is the child distressed? Absolutely.
What can we do?
We need to take control of the situation and find a way to 'turn the child around'. This may take a few minutes or alternatively this may not be possible at this point.
Ultimately we need the child to take ownership for their behaviour but in the moment they key is to diffuse the situation and sure that the child is safe.
What do we need to think about?
We need to think about the impact of our interactions. Are we escalating the situation? Are we making things worse?
We need to identify other factors that may be impacting the responses of the child. Parents? Care givers?... How these responses are reacted to outside of school? The child's prior experience.
Supporting students who are sensitive can be very subjective. We need to demonstrate to colleagues how a non-judgemental approach can be a benefit to all. The emotions that are involved can be complex and therefore require lengthy discussion and mutual understanding to arrive at more appropriate responses. There will need to be an investment in time and energy using an adult who can be empathetic and understanding to the students individual needs.
As educators we have a duty of care for all of our students. We are tasked with ensuring that they feel safe and valued within our community. This facilitates the need for us to seek for solutions which can allow our students to grow. This need for learning to take place cannot be replaced by punishment. It can only be replaced by compassion, empathy and understanding.
If you would like to know more on the subject of Dandelion and Orchid children I recommend visiting https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/articles/201901/why-some-children-are-orchids-and-others-are-dandelions
or reading ...
THE ORCHID AND THE DANDELION: Why Some Children Struggle and How All Can Thrive by W. Thomas Boyce, M.D.
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