If I am asked to describe the meaning of “Belonging” I immediately think about being connected to or part of something. I belong to my family group, my friend group, a sports club. My responses were detached and I basically rhymed off a list of groups that I was part of.
But when asked to describe how the feeling of belonging makes me feel I stopped in my tracks. I became more emotionally connected to the question and my response was more thoughtful and personal.
Hmmm… this was powerful.
I began to explore my feelings and how belonging gave me a sense of safety and security. I then realised that belonging gave me a sense of value and love. This exploration went on to reveal to me that belonging gave me a sense of who I am. The feeling of self. I discovered how important it was for me to “belong” and how much a part of my identity it was.
I then began to reflect on how hard it must be to not have the feeling of belonging, to not feel valued, not feel safe and secure but to feel so unsure.
I thought about the children in my care who see themselves through a negative lens. The ones who don’t feel part of the group. Those who feel they are stupid, naughty, undeserving of being part of the group. Those who are struggling and can exhibit challenging behaviour as a defense mechanism to mask their feelings of not belonging.
How can I give them the feeling of belonging?
How can I help them to feel safe and secure?
How can we help them to understand that someone values them and cares for them?
How can we facilitate growth in their sense of self?
According to the authors of Pathways to Inclusion “a high sense of belonging is a fundamental predictor” of improved outcomes. Being included and expected to be an active member of a group can positively impact challenging behaviours. Students who are included can then have the opportunity to grow their self-esteem and discover their sense of self in a positive way. As educators we can have the power to facilitate this, but it is a choice. Be the educator that chooses to include students who exhibit challenging behaviour, give them that sense of belonging and value. Explore the reasons behind their behaviour and help them. If we can all approach our students in this way I am sure we will see an improvement in student outcomes.
Be the significant adult for your students, listen to them and respond to their needs.
All of our students need to belong.
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