Connecting with people and discovering new approaches to supporting children who exhibit challenging behaviour is one of my passions.
In my search to further my knowledge, I have really enjoyed having the long summer break to spend some more time interacting on social media platforms.The pandemic has opened up opportunities to participate in online webinars and courses which have been fabulous and have fuelled my craving, as has the world of Twitter.
Recently I came across an article from Dr Margot Sutherland. This article described how to work with children who live with anxiety and in her words “behave their trauma”. This resonated with how I work with children who exhibit challenging behaviour and my belief that their behaviour is communicating with us their need for help and support.
Dr Sutherland provides practical guidance for anyone working with children who live with anxiety in a very concise and approachable way. She stresses the need for adults to listen to and be available for the child. Highlighting the child’s need to act out the trauma by controlling, avoiding or both. Although this article is concerned with one child and how they live with unbearable feelings and transfer them into thinkable thoughts, I find that the guidance given can be very helpful when working with children who exhibit challenging behaviour.
If we think traditionally about behaviour and how it was/is interpreted as a conscious decision by the child to exert control of a situation, avoid engagement with directions or tasks. Then we are setting the scene for conflict. This conflict or battle then creates an emotionally charged interaction between child and adult whereby we establish a standoff where someone needs to win and consequently someone needs to lose.
My questions to you are,
Why do we need to have a winner and a loser?
Would it not be better to work together on a solution where we all win?
In my role, I do not strive to diagnose my students or label them. But I do want to support them in the best way that I can by informing myself of best practice and alternative approaches. In the wise words of Elly Chapple, I want to “Flip The Narrative”.
Flipping the narrative allows us to approach behaviour from a different perspective. Thus creating the opportunity for change. If we look back to the article and consider that children are acting out their lived trauma then we have already shifted perspective. We are no longer looking at the behaviour but we are looking beyond it. Beyond the behaviour, we have the possibility to take time to analyse the situation. We need to reflect on what happened before the behaviour occurred that could have triggered it and how we avoid this next time,
I often stress to my colleagues the need to reach understanding with students and empathise that they are feeling aggrieved or anxious. We have a responsibility to ensure we listen to the child, recognise the behaviour as communication and be open-minded in our approach. We have a responsibility to look beyond the behaviour and actively help. If we place ourselves in the role of the victim and by this, I mean the victim of student behaviour, then we will come out fighting, that is our natural response. However, if we place ourselves as the significant adult then we are in a position to provide support and guidance. Collaboration is key as this enables us to provide the opportunity to work with the child who exhibits challenging behaviour and actively supports them to be more successful in the future.
Let me know your thoughts and please feel free to like, comment and share.
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